First dates and beyond: where to go, what to say, and how to end it

In the book

• 6.1Plan a first date that creates chemistry
• 6.2What to talk about on a first date
• 6.3Leading the date without being controlling
• 6.4Building chemistry: teasing, tension and touch
• 6.5How to end the date, and whether to kiss her
• 6.6What to text after the first date
• 6.7Second and third dates: going deeper

Quick answers

• We have a first date. Where do we go?Skip dinner and a movie. Pick something short, inexpensive and easy to extend, with a little novelty, then move together to a second spot nearby. Shared movement feels like a shared adventure.
• What do I even talk about on a date?Go in steps: light for the first twenty minutes, personal in the middle, deeper if it’s flowing. And answer your own questions. A date where only she shares feels like a deposition.
• Should I try to kiss her?Read the moment: she lingers, faces you, the pause gets comfortable. If you’re unsure, say it with a smile: “I’d really like to kiss you.” Confident, and it gives her an easy yes or an easy no.
• What do I text after the date?No games. That night or the next morning: warm, specific, short. Mention a moment from the date, then propose date two within a day or two. Clarity is the most attractive thing you can send.