Relationships
Relationships that last: connection, conflict, jealousy and long-term attraction
Getting her is the beginning, not the finish line. The skills that keep a relationship alive for years are different from the ones that start it, and decades of research show which ones matter.
Guides for this topic are on the way.
Meanwhile, here’s where the book handles it, and the quick answers from the Situation Finder.
In the book
- 10.1Bids for connection: the tiny moments that decide it
- 10.2When she’s upset: listen first, fix later
- 10.3How to fight fair
- 10.4Jealousy, trust and her phone
- 10.5Keeping attraction alive long-term
- 10.6Red flags, green flags, and when to walk away
Quick answers
- We keep having the same fight.Swap criticism for a complaint, contempt for respect, defensiveness for responsibility and stonewalling for a 20-minute break. The goal of a fight isn’t to win. It’s to stay on the same team.
- I get jealous, and I hate it.Treat jealousy as information: write what happened, what you assumed, and what you actually know. Agree on boundaries while you’re both calm, raise real concerns directly, and never police her phone.
- The spark is gone in my relationship.Passion fades by default, not by fate. Keep dating her, do new things together, keep a life of your own and keep flirting. Comfort is the foundation, not the whole house.
What She Won’t Tell You
Stop guessing. Start reading the room.
83 one-page chapters, a Situation Finder for the night you need it, and a 30-day reset. $9.99, once.
No pickup lines. No mind games. 14-day refund, no questions asked.