Texting her: what to send, when to wait, and what silence means

In the book

• 4.1The first text after you get her number
• 4.2The rules of texting rhythm
• 4.3How to keep a text conversation from dying
• 4.4She left you on read: what it means, what to do
• 4.5She takes hours to reply (or texts like a robot)
• 4.6Double texting: when it’s fine and when it kills
• 4.7How to ask her out over text
• 4.8Ten texts that quietly kill attraction
• 1.6Your texting problem is a meeting problem

Quick answers

• I got her number. Now what do I text?Forget the three-day rule. Text that evening or the next day with a callback to something fun you shared, in one or two lines. It should feel like a continuation, not a cold start.
• Our texts keep fizzling out.Closed questions kill threads. Send a playful assumption, a story instead of a status, or a fun either-or. Give her something fun to answer, not something she has to answer.
• She left me on read.One message tells you nothing, so decide nothing from it. No “??”. Check whether your last text even needed a reply, wait a day or two, then re-open once with something fresh. If that meets silence too, she has answered.
• She takes hours to reply.Separate texting style from interest. Slow but warm, with questions back and yes to plans, is fine. Slow, flat and plan-avoiding is an answer. Judge her by the date she agrees to, not the speed of her texts.
• Should I double text?One follow-up after silence, a day or more later, with something new, is fine. Two unanswered messages in a row is the limit. Before you send, ask: would I send this if I weren’t anxious?
• How do I ask her out without it being awkward?Be specific: a day, a time and a place, tied to something from your conversation, ending with “Does that work?” A good invitation is specific enough to say yes to and easy enough to say no to.