Relationships
How to be a better boyfriend: connection, conflict, trust and lasting attraction
Getting her is the beginning, not the finish line. The skills that keep a relationship alive for years are different from the ones that start it, and decades of research show which ones matter.
In the book
- 10.1Bids for connection: the tiny moments that decide it
- 10.2When she’s upset: listen first, fix later
- 10.3How to fight fair
- 10.4Jealousy, trust and her phone
- 10.5Keeping attraction alive long-term
- 10.6Red flags, green flags, and when to walk away
Quick answers
- We keep having the same fight.Swap criticism for a complaint, contempt for respect, defensiveness for responsibility and stonewalling for a 20-minute break. The goal of a fight isn’t to win. It’s to stay on the same team.
- I get jealous, and I hate it.Treat jealousy as information: write what happened, what you assumed, and what you actually know. Agree on boundaries while you’re both calm, raise real concerns directly, and never police her phone.
- The spark is gone in my relationship.Passion fades by default, not by fate. Keep dating her, do new things together, keep a life of your own and keep flirting. Comfort is the foundation, not the whole house.
What She Won’t Tell You
Stop guessing. Start reading the room.
83 one-page chapters, a Situation Finder for the night you need it, and a 30-day reset. $9.99, once.
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