Meeting women: approaching, opening, and dating apps without the cringe

In the book

• 2.2Approach anxiety: why your brain lies to you
• 3.1How to approach a woman without being creepy
• 3.2What to say first: openers that actually work
• 3.3How to never run out of things to say
• 3.4Flirting 101: turning a chat romantic
• 3.5How to get her number naturally
• 3.6The underrated path: meeting through your social life
• 3.7Dating apps I: photos and profile
• 3.8Dating apps II: openers and getting off the app

Quick answers

• I freeze up every time I want to talk to her.Your brain is treating four seconds of awkwardness like a threat to survival. Move within a few seconds, shrink the goal to a simple hello, and warm up with two or three easy conversations first.
• I never know what to say first.Cute lines lose; simple, situational or direct openers win, and the research has said so since the 1980s. Comment on what you’re both experiencing, say it slower than feels natural, then follow up on her answer.
• Our conversations die after two minutes.You’re interviewing her. Pull a thread from her last answer, share a little of yourself before you ask, and ask why instead of what. Why-questions get stories; what-questions get facts.
• I don’t know how to flirt without being weird.Flirting is friendliness plus visible intent: hold eye contact a beat longer, compliment something she chose, tease with obvious affection. If she stops playing, you stop too.
• I want her number but I’m scared to ask.Ask at a high point, not after the conversation sags, and attach a plan: a drink this week. Then text her right away so she has yours, and accept any answer like a gentleman.
• I get matches, but nothing ever happens.“Hey” puts all the work on her. Open with something specific from her profile that’s fun to answer, and suggest meeting within a few good exchanges. The app is the front door, not the living room.